The voice of nature always cries,
And many a messages from the skies,
That something in us never dies.
-Robert Burns
I died on a Monday morning. I am still trying to figure out the reason of my death. Was it my heart that stopped functioning ? No, that can not be true. I never knew my whole life if I had a heart. I was all brains no sentiments . May be It was my brain that gave up. Now, analyzing the beauty associated with the death on a Monday morning, you have come back from the luxury of two and a half day of freedom and showed middle finger to the rest of the days of week who are waiting eagerly in a queue to molest you. It would have been even better had I collapsed during the first minute of this meeting. However I survived almost till the end of this team meeting, then everything went blank at once.
"Rats Rats Everywhere!". The opening slide of The Manager's presentation shouted in bold red fonts. I came to full consciousness after reading this sentence. I had known him for a long time now and was positive that whatever ideas floated through his ugly shaped head( back of which looked like the back of a cathode ray television) were bull crap. Even though I was sure it would be some bullshit, his opening slide evoked curiosity. I was so eager to know what is it ?
The attendance of the meeting had an interesting mix today. This team used to work in shifts and hence the meeting crowd was different every Monday.
Fat Ass Bootlicker :
****************
He started salivating twice his normal capability. He was overwhelmed by the possibilities of ideas about rats he can conceive, give birth to, say yes to acceptance/rejection from The Manager with equal unwavering loyalty. He was a fat person balanced by tug of war between his multi-tyred paunch and an enormous ass. However this balance had produced a permanent geometrically obtuse inclination to his posture, which aptly suited his personality and character. His hands were always folded together and resting on his belly when he was in meeting.
"We already have installed rat-traps in our pool and they are all working. Yesterday, one of the employee's toe was caught in the trap and it bled profusely. I helped him with the first-aid and have sent an warning email to everyone demanding them to be aware of the installations under their desk and listing dangers of of tetanus in case they do not take proper vaccination after their toe or any other part of feet is smashed accidentally by the rat trap ".
***
Hyper-Sweating Martinet :
*********************
He had already wiped the sweat beads three times from his forehead and the fourth batch of tiny droplets were in production. He said a sentence at a rapid speed. The speed coupled with his unique accent made his delivery indecipherable for me. However, fat ass bootlicker laughed, a few other smiled and rest remained silent and indifferent like me. Deep inside, The Martinet was a scared little rat. But he had conditioned himself well over years, and now he had capability to suck his superiors without noise and disturb/scare his peers/subordinates with spontaneous heated exchange over anything unimportant, important, meaningless, meaningful, useless, useful, easy, difficult, ugly, beautiful, and excel sheets. The glitter in his eyes had dual capability to genuflect and patronize at the same time, based on who is he facing.
***
Miss Depressed:
*************
She was a humble and harmless creature. Benevolent and sweet. Cursing career, life and world. She did not believe in God but believed in hell. 'It is right here, around us', She would say. She was not happy with life in general. 'Nothing has happened the way I wanted them to'- This sentence had a permanent placement in her conversations, rephrased occasionally, repeated mostly. verbatim. She followed orders as they came to her. No interest. No questions. Oodles of sadness.
***
Miss Smart Brains:
***************
She could have made the best doctor or engineer or diplomat or dog trainer or inter-galactic traveller or sugar-cane farmer or boxer. She was smart. Perhaps She had the best density of grey-cells in the world. She was smart in what she did. Her questions were clear, comments sincere, feedback incisive, and answers bang on. Even though a room full of idiots normally would discourage someone intelligent like her to speak, but boy, this female was magical. She had this art of piercing through dumbest of the brains. If she had some idea and that had to be planted and nurtured on thickest of the cells of the brain, she would do it somehow. I badly needed to learn that craft to treat my own small, hard-coded, obsequious brain.
***
Super Conceited Smug:
*******************
Smugness drooped from his face, shined in his eyes, and was stiffly embedded in his gestures. Even though he had similar level of intellect like others in the room and more than often he reacted to situations as if he had IQ level of a bucket or a goat but he thought of himself as the most learned and smart person available to humanity. His smile was limited to an awkward twitch in the right half of his upper lip and forced exit of few cubic centimeters of air through his nose making just enough noise to be heard by people standing next to him on either side. Most of the people in this room hated him. And he hated everyone around him with equal jest. He spoke little and used words from a vocabulary at least hundred years old or from newspaper editorial. At the end of his talk, he would look at others as if he is on a cliff and others are in bottomless pit of ignorance.
The Happy Fool:
**************
Happiness is the ultimate goal of life. Cliche. Fact. Difficult to attain. I envied him. How could anybody be perennially happy? Either you are a saint who has reached the pinnacle of spiritual liberation, (the phrase itself gives me gitters!! ) or you are an asshole of magnificent make who can walk through limitless sprawl of shit and write romantic poetry about it. His smile only transitioned to either a grin or a hearty laugh as per demand of the occasion. He perhaps had an automatic filter to prevent any other emotional state change. In fact, not just envied, I hated this guy.
***
Miss Shallow Head:
****************
She had shiny silky hair and an oval cute face coated with several layers of cosmetics. Extra layers to hide dark circles below sunken eyes. I heard someone saying one day that her skull was asymmetrical. He perhaps had examined it by touching. Yes I remember, it was Happy Fool, he had examined her head. It had tried to project that scene internally, someone touching someone Else's head and figuring out symmetry of the skull at the same time. What kind of expression they would have bore ? Anyways, she was about an average girl. Giggling most of the time. Standing about thirty seven millimeters apart when talking to you. Looking straight into your eyes. Some considered it frank, some romantic, some thrilling, I shallow.
***
Almost everyone had added something to the discussion by now. I had successfully tolerated this exchange of colossal non-sense so far. I saw Fat Ass Bootlicker reading some text on his cell phone. There was a victorious smile on his face. He cut short the Hyper Sweating Martinet in the mid of his sentence where he was briefing about people coming in late for the shift and how was he planning to kill them if allowed. He announced that first rat was successfully trapped and executed this morning. Previous shift lead had forgotten to update this to him in time.
"I am really happy with the results and this in fact is a principle of kaizen, small but continuous improvem.....". Some circuit in my head decided to call it a day before The Manager had finished his sentence. I was functionally dead. No longer processing, no longer projecting. A meeting room projector had just given up on his life and humanity in general after hearing about kaizen in context of rats.
Piktru says :: How can I help you when all my strength is vested in surviving your enormous stupidity ?
And many a messages from the skies,
That something in us never dies.
-Robert Burns
I died on a Monday morning. I am still trying to figure out the reason of my death. Was it my heart that stopped functioning ? No, that can not be true. I never knew my whole life if I had a heart. I was all brains no sentiments . May be It was my brain that gave up. Now, analyzing the beauty associated with the death on a Monday morning, you have come back from the luxury of two and a half day of freedom and showed middle finger to the rest of the days of week who are waiting eagerly in a queue to molest you. It would have been even better had I collapsed during the first minute of this meeting. However I survived almost till the end of this team meeting, then everything went blank at once.
"Rats Rats Everywhere!". The opening slide of The Manager's presentation shouted in bold red fonts. I came to full consciousness after reading this sentence. I had known him for a long time now and was positive that whatever ideas floated through his ugly shaped head( back of which looked like the back of a cathode ray television) were bull crap. Even though I was sure it would be some bullshit, his opening slide evoked curiosity. I was so eager to know what is it ?
The attendance of the meeting had an interesting mix today. This team used to work in shifts and hence the meeting crowd was different every Monday.
Fat Ass Bootlicker :
****************
He started salivating twice his normal capability. He was overwhelmed by the possibilities of ideas about rats he can conceive, give birth to, say yes to acceptance/rejection from The Manager with equal unwavering loyalty. He was a fat person balanced by tug of war between his multi-tyred paunch and an enormous ass. However this balance had produced a permanent geometrically obtuse inclination to his posture, which aptly suited his personality and character. His hands were always folded together and resting on his belly when he was in meeting.
"We already have installed rat-traps in our pool and they are all working. Yesterday, one of the employee's toe was caught in the trap and it bled profusely. I helped him with the first-aid and have sent an warning email to everyone demanding them to be aware of the installations under their desk and listing dangers of of tetanus in case they do not take proper vaccination after their toe or any other part of feet is smashed accidentally by the rat trap ".
***
Hyper-Sweating Martinet :
*********************
He had already wiped the sweat beads three times from his forehead and the fourth batch of tiny droplets were in production. He said a sentence at a rapid speed. The speed coupled with his unique accent made his delivery indecipherable for me. However, fat ass bootlicker laughed, a few other smiled and rest remained silent and indifferent like me. Deep inside, The Martinet was a scared little rat. But he had conditioned himself well over years, and now he had capability to suck his superiors without noise and disturb/scare his peers/subordinates with spontaneous heated exchange over anything unimportant, important, meaningless, meaningful, useless, useful, easy, difficult, ugly, beautiful, and excel sheets. The glitter in his eyes had dual capability to genuflect and patronize at the same time, based on who is he facing.
***
Miss Depressed:
*************
She was a humble and harmless creature. Benevolent and sweet. Cursing career, life and world. She did not believe in God but believed in hell. 'It is right here, around us', She would say. She was not happy with life in general. 'Nothing has happened the way I wanted them to'- This sentence had a permanent placement in her conversations, rephrased occasionally, repeated mostly. verbatim. She followed orders as they came to her. No interest. No questions. Oodles of sadness.
***
Miss Smart Brains:
***************
She could have made the best doctor or engineer or diplomat or dog trainer or inter-galactic traveller or sugar-cane farmer or boxer. She was smart. Perhaps She had the best density of grey-cells in the world. She was smart in what she did. Her questions were clear, comments sincere, feedback incisive, and answers bang on. Even though a room full of idiots normally would discourage someone intelligent like her to speak, but boy, this female was magical. She had this art of piercing through dumbest of the brains. If she had some idea and that had to be planted and nurtured on thickest of the cells of the brain, she would do it somehow. I badly needed to learn that craft to treat my own small, hard-coded, obsequious brain.
***
Super Conceited Smug:
*******************
Smugness drooped from his face, shined in his eyes, and was stiffly embedded in his gestures. Even though he had similar level of intellect like others in the room and more than often he reacted to situations as if he had IQ level of a bucket or a goat but he thought of himself as the most learned and smart person available to humanity. His smile was limited to an awkward twitch in the right half of his upper lip and forced exit of few cubic centimeters of air through his nose making just enough noise to be heard by people standing next to him on either side. Most of the people in this room hated him. And he hated everyone around him with equal jest. He spoke little and used words from a vocabulary at least hundred years old or from newspaper editorial. At the end of his talk, he would look at others as if he is on a cliff and others are in bottomless pit of ignorance.
The Happy Fool:
**************
Happiness is the ultimate goal of life. Cliche. Fact. Difficult to attain. I envied him. How could anybody be perennially happy? Either you are a saint who has reached the pinnacle of spiritual liberation, (the phrase itself gives me gitters!! ) or you are an asshole of magnificent make who can walk through limitless sprawl of shit and write romantic poetry about it. His smile only transitioned to either a grin or a hearty laugh as per demand of the occasion. He perhaps had an automatic filter to prevent any other emotional state change. In fact, not just envied, I hated this guy.
***
Miss Shallow Head:
****************
She had shiny silky hair and an oval cute face coated with several layers of cosmetics. Extra layers to hide dark circles below sunken eyes. I heard someone saying one day that her skull was asymmetrical. He perhaps had examined it by touching. Yes I remember, it was Happy Fool, he had examined her head. It had tried to project that scene internally, someone touching someone Else's head and figuring out symmetry of the skull at the same time. What kind of expression they would have bore ? Anyways, she was about an average girl. Giggling most of the time. Standing about thirty seven millimeters apart when talking to you. Looking straight into your eyes. Some considered it frank, some romantic, some thrilling, I shallow.
***
Almost everyone had added something to the discussion by now. I had successfully tolerated this exchange of colossal non-sense so far. I saw Fat Ass Bootlicker reading some text on his cell phone. There was a victorious smile on his face. He cut short the Hyper Sweating Martinet in the mid of his sentence where he was briefing about people coming in late for the shift and how was he planning to kill them if allowed. He announced that first rat was successfully trapped and executed this morning. Previous shift lead had forgotten to update this to him in time.
"I am really happy with the results and this in fact is a principle of kaizen, small but continuous improvem.....". Some circuit in my head decided to call it a day before The Manager had finished his sentence. I was functionally dead. No longer processing, no longer projecting. A meeting room projector had just given up on his life and humanity in general after hearing about kaizen in context of rats.
Piktru says :: How can I help you when all my strength is vested in surviving your enormous stupidity ?
